Just Who is Googling Me? And Why?

I still feel like a newbie to this whole blogging thing. I'm not even sure I'm saying anything of use to people. Feel free to weigh in on that, by the way. I'm open to hearing what you want to know. If I think I can write about it, I will. Soon I'll be blogging more about brand, marketing, and design on another blog. I don't know the address yet. As soon as I do, I'll share it.

Anyway, after attending BlogIndiana about six weeks ago, I set up Google Analytics so I'd have some way of monitoring my blog activity. I have been surprised to see my name "nila nealy" show up in the terms that people search.

As a brand strategist, I'm well aware that where and how my name shows up contributes to the formation of my personal brand - my public identity, if you will. First page Google results on my name show this blog called The Human Condition and my involvement with SmallerIndiana, IndyGreen, MarketingProfs, Business Marketing Association, and Twitter - and my old profile at an old version of the Element Three website. I think I like the picture that paints.

I'm wondering who is Googling me and why. When people land on this blog, do they find out what they want to know? What else do they find? How about you? When people Google your name, what do they learn about you?

Empathy - Strengthsfinder 2.0

My Strengthsfinder 2.0 report said, "People who are especially talented in the Empathy theme can sense the feelings of other people by imagining themselves in others' lives or others' situations."

How Empathy shows up in my life: I don't know how to explain it, but I really do sense the feelings of others. One of my mentors has told me that this is the strength he sees in me the most - my ability to put myself in another's shoes and then to use that Empathy to establish rapport, but not to manipulate. People tell me, "when I met you I felt like you really liked me and understood me." That's how a relationship began that led to the sale of my business into a wonderful stewardship. How else does Empathy reveal itself? I'm a person that others will confide in. In fact, I've had situations where the professional I was talking with turned the tables and started telling me her stories. One even cried.

Because I haven't learned to turn this empathy off, it can get me in trouble, too (beyond paying professionals and then being the one to do the counseling). If someone near me is feeling very angry or blue, I am inclined to focus on them, and perhaps not the situation at hand. The other way I find it troubling is that I simply don't do well in groups - too many feelings to be felt. It can be, quite literally, painful. Still, I still wouldn't trade Empathy away. She's a good friend that serves me well.

Strengthsfinder 2.0 said my Top Five Themes are Intellection, Empathy, Input, Learner and Connectedness.

Here's what I'm wondering: How do other people see Empathy playing out in their lives?

Related posts
Connectedness - Strengthsfinder 2.0
Learner - Strengthsfinder 2.0
Input - Strengthsfinder 2.0
Intellection - Strengthsfinder 2.0
Strengthsfinder 2.0

Intellection - Strengthsfinder 2.0

Let me start by saying I am not a Strengthsfinder 2.0 expert. I am a person who loves tools for introspection. When I did the first version of the Strengthsfinder from Now, Discover Your Strengths, and read my results, it was like a heavy weight had been lifted from me. These traits of mine that I thought were flaws or weaknesses were presented to me in a whole new light as strengths! Being a curious soul, when the second version came out, I bought the book and did the test just to see the degree of consistency. Strengthsfinder 2.0 said my Top Five Themes are Intellection, Empathy, Input, Learner and Connectedness. The difference between version 1 and 2.0? Empathy came in and Ideation went out. Anyway, I've recently become re-interested in this information. So, I'm going to explore each of the themes a little more.

Intellection

My Strengthsfinder 2.0 report says "People who are especially talented in the Intellection theme are characterized by their intellectual activity. They are introspective and appreciate intellectual discussions."

How Intellection shows up in my life: I have the ability to get lost in a sort of mental reverie. I hear ideas within things that other people say and then I spin those around in my head, looking at them from all angles to follow a thought trail. Often, in conversations, people will think that I've "checked out" or am disinterested or even disagree. They'll say, "you have nothing to say about this do you?" The reality is that I'm thinking through those possibilities. I'm rarely good at giving thoughts on the spot. I tell people I need to let things absorb and then I'll get back to them. I carry a journal with me every where I go so that I can record thoughts and ideas. When not spinning in my own head with Intellection, the theme has me seeking out deeper conversations. I'm uncomfortable with small talk, but could sit for hours having discussions about behavior, politics, religion, science, etc.

Here's what I'm wondering: If you intellection show up in your list of top themes, how does it show up in your life? How do people use this theme in their lives? Who else shares my themes - or a majority of them?

Related posts
Connectedness - Strengthsfinder 2.0
Learner - Strengthsfinder 2.0
Input - Strengthsfinder 2.0
Empathy - Strengthsfinder 2.0
Strengthsfinder 2.0

Being Peace (The Value of a Mental Health Day)

I took a mental health day today. Well, not a whole day. At 4:00 I helped put out a work fire. However, between dropping off the kids and picking them up, i.e. from 8:00 am until 3:20 pm, I committed to doing what I wanted to do even though I didn't really know what that was. Let me tell you, after weeks on end of high pressure work, it's not that easy to turn off the faucet. I debated whether I even should take the time since I still have a decent list of things to accomplish. But, the time is never right. And sometimes you just have to do something for yourself.

So I started by having a nice breakfast at one of my favorite local eateries, the Illinois Street Food Emporium. After that, I went home to do a little writing - just some stream of consciousness cobweb clearing nonsense. Then I did some just-for-fun shopping. There's a new Nordstrom in town, after all, and I had $40 of Nordstrom bucks burning a hole in my wallet. I couldn't resist checking off a few to dos either. I bought a wedding gift at Williams-Sonoma and picked up a few things my son needed at Target. I also stopped by The Eye Doctors to talk to my pal Renée (she's fabulous) and pick up some supplies.

Once my wandering was over, I went back home to feed my creative spirit. I only had about 90 minutes free, so painting seemed too daunting as did jewelry making or other creative endeavors. I remembered I had been collecting words and images from magazines over the last several months. So I pulled out the file of those, a piece of poster board, some scissors and a glue stick and set about making what I've seen called a "treasure map" or a "vision board." Essentially, these ransom note style posters – or collages – are meant to help a person envision a life she wants. (Another blogger's description and instructions.) I had no expectations for the outcome and no intention of theme going into the endeavor. I wasn't trying to envision anything. I just wanted to make something.

The outcome was a sort of tribute to my spirit, an encouragement to myself to live full out (which is a pretty quiet thing by comparison to the full out of others) and an exploration of shape, color and image. The biggest words say, "Being Peace." I think I did that for at least part of today.

Right now I'm not wondering anything. I'm just enjoying a little quiet reverie with my new poster – and a really cool sweater/dress/top/jacket thingie from Nordstrom.

The Intuitive Mind

I was reading last night when I ran across the following quote that I've read before.

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind its faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift. - Albert Einstein"

It reminded me of another quote by a slightly less famous Michael Bierut, partner at Pentagram is credited for having said.

"Most processes leave out the stuff that no one wants to talk about: magic, intuition and leaps of faith."

The INFP that I am, I naturally love these quotes. And, my 20+ years of business experience tell me that there is much truth in these statements. I've seen opportunities lost to and the joy squeezed out of work by the need to be scientifically exacting and to apply process to every bit of an issue.

I've heard stories about how Warren Buffet relies on his intuition in the decision making process. Seems he's figured out for himself what Einstein and Bierut were talking about. And, he's not doing so badly, huh?

Here's what I wonder: With a looming recession, will the use of intuition in business become more or less popular?

Procrastination - My Enemy, My Self

I'm working on a big project and I can't seem to get myself to stay focused on it long enough to make good progress. I've thought through a number of reasons. Maybe it's because my days have been chopped up into little segments. Or perhaps it's that I'm anticipating getting interrupted (it happens a lot). Or could it be that I've been pushing myself pretty hard for weeks on end, juggling the multiple demands or work and family? Maybe I'm just not interested in the project. Maybe I've lost passion for what I do. I mused on these and other possible causes of my procrastination. Then it hit me. Fear.

Fear? Of what? Rejection.

The realization itself is freeing. Yesterday, as soon as I wrote the paragraph above, I was able to dive in head first and face the project. I started working for myself and how I'd feel about the outcome, not some imagined rejection. As of this morning, I was quite happy with where I am and free of the dark cloud that was hanging around me.

Here's what I wonder: Is a certain personality type more inclined to this fear of rejection and the subsequent procrastination? What are the characteristics of a project or a job that might set one up for procrastination? Did I just stumble on some well-known technique to overcoming writer's block (or other creative blocks)?

Financial High Anxiety

I wish I hadn't turned on the radio yesterday. Or today. But I did. I heard about the Lehman Brothers bankruptcy and how AIG is experiencing difficulties. Over the last two days, I heard multiple references to The Great Depression. I heard the phrase "run on banks." I heard about how the stock market fell 500 points yesterday. I heard how other countries' markets and governments are reacting. I feel anxious.

Intellectually, I know that there are safeguards in place. I also know that I can't control the financial giants and that I can control my own financial habits. Still, I feel anxious.

Last week I listened to an Economist speak for Vistage at Butler University. Alan Beaulieu is half of the twin brother team at the Institute for Trend Research. Alan and his brother have been pretty darned accurate over the years in forecasting economic cycles. I heard him speak two years ago and near-term forecasts he made then have come to pass. In this most recent talk, he said that we are not in recession yet, but that a pretty steep recession is coming - worse than 2001-2003. Among a ton of other interesting things (maybe I'll write about those in future posts), he said that the The Fed is worried about cascading bank failures.

Um, cascading bank failures? Hello Lehman Brothers.

Nila feels mounting anxiety.

I think Alan had it right when he led the audience to conclude that it all comes down to three factors: greed, incompetence and stupidity. I heard a commentator this morning on All Things Considered, an NPR program presented locally on WFYI 90.1 FM, say that people are questioning the intelligence and capabilities of people leading these financial giants. The gentleman went on to say that all these giants are borrowing from and lending to each other trillions of dollars and that no one really knows who owes whom what in Indianapolis, Shanghai, Hong Kong, etc. The lead commentator clarified by saying that these are the financial centers. I smiled (nervously) at the inclusion of my hometown in that list and the amusement that we'd be listed with such major global cities. Nervously.

In the 2001-2003 recession my business took a terrible tumble from which we had trouble recovering. Up until then, we had operated on cash only. We had no debt. At the end of the recession, we were swimming in it. Our Fortune 500 clients had suddenly and simultaneously pulled back the reins. Hard. One of our smaller clients who depended on those same big companies went into bankruptcy, making a significant amount of invoices to us just disappear into thin air. I'd say that my business management skills and nerves were pushed to their limits, especially in the aftermath (2004), which precipitated my exit from ownership.

By the way, the recovery in 2004-2005 and the set up to my business sale was beautifully supported by my Vistage chair, Mike Donahue, my fellow group members and the guidance of a fantastic business coach, C.J. McClanahan. I'd like to believe that if I were still at the helm of the business, I'd be better equipped to lead through the coming storm. Hey, there's a little ray of sunshine.

Yeah, I'm a little all over the place here. But, honestly, that's how I feel. While I sort-of kind-of understand at a very low level all this financial and economic mess, I don't feel quite educated enough to truly understand. All I know is that I have to strike a balance between staying informed and staying sane. I have to manage my anxiety. My fear. After all, I have a great husband, wonderful children and am surrounded by amazing people. What more can I truly ask for?

Here's what I wonder: How is the economic situation driven by our individual and collective thoughts and behaviors? How many of you are feeling a similar anxiety? How do you deal with it? What is the best thing that each individual can do to improve the overall situation? Do some personality types fair better than others in tough economic times? What are the character traits that predispose one to do well or poorly through financial pressures?

Interesting Way to Promote a Website Launch

Handbagplanet.com is giving away 24 bags in 24 hours on their launch day of October 15th. Register for your free bag.

What's this have to do with the human condition? Well, I'm a brand strategist. Part of what I do is figure out how to motivate people to do things - I connect people with businesses. So, I'm fascinated by my own behavior. A potentially free bag has motivated me to write this blog post and send the link to three of my friends when I have plenty of other enjoyable or productive (or both) things to do.

Here's what I wonder: What is it about that slim chance of winning that motivates us to do things we likely wouldn't otherwise do? How many more times will I see this link in the next month? How many people will register for the very same bag I do? How many people will participate in this nearly free marketing tactic?

Twitter and ADD / ADHD

I just read this post by Tara McGillicuddy asking, "Twitter ADD friendly?" I wondered about this myself a few weeks back.

I think Tara hit the nail on the head. It's great that the posts in Twitter are short. It forces a person to be succinct. But someone challenged by time management needs to engage self-discipline lest Twitter become another way to procrastinate.

Yeah. That's me.

The other thing about the short posts is that I "blurt" out things that might just be useless in any possible way to anyone else.

I'm still learning this whole social media thing.

Follow me (@nilanealy) on Twitter. If you want.

Difficult Personalities in Work Situations

This has been a rough week. I had way more business meetings than I find comfortable. But more than that, two of them were very difficult.

The first was a case of my delivering less-than-rosie information. It’s not fun to do that. These people paid for my professional opinion. I’m obligated to tell them. And while I didn’t sugar coat, I delivered the information as kindly as I could. I’m not sure that anything would have changed the outcome.

While I’m incredibly irritated, I can’t just point to an individual in that first meeting and say, “you suck.” The second meeting would certainly give me that opportunity.

The second group of people was wonderful with the exception of one soul who seems to take pleasure in being blunt, domineering, contrary and abrasive. Because I was facilitating a group session, I had to manage around his personality. I believe the session was successful in spite of him. Yet, I’m sure that the results would have been much better had he remembered that the rest of us are people, not his subjects.

One amusing point: This gentleman lectured me on excuses and results, talking about how he doesn’t need my excuses; he just needs my results. I started to say something like, “I apologize for backtracking to ask for this…” when he cut me off with a well rehearsed speech about how e≠r, but that r=r (e being excuses or explanations and r being results. Here’s the thing. He’s so into results, just apparently not enough to engage in teamwork through the process to get the best results possible in the session.

A second more humbling and less amusing point: I lost sight of the very thing I wanted him to do – to see us as people. As soon as I recognized that he was sabotaging the session, I saw him as an object. And, in that one simple attitude shift, I participated in creating undesirable outcomes – a patriarchal lecture, a difficult extraction of information, a general feeling of exhaustion and annoyance for all the participants.

Here’s what I wonder: If I had been able to maintain my perspective of this individual as a person with feelings and needs, could I have produced better results? And, now to a less “nice” wondering, how do abrasive people keep jobs – and move up the ladder? How does one deal with a bully in working situations without becoming a bully oneself?

People Start Pollution, People Can Stop It.

Remember the Keep America Beautiful public service announcements showing the "Crying Indian?" If you don't, you must have been born past the early 70s. Anyway, the message was "People Start Pollution, People Can Stop It." This morning, I flashed back to this PSA.

I was driving the two mile stretch of four lane road between my house and my office when I noticed a Dollar General Store bag containing unidentified material lying in the road. That yellow bag boosted my awareness of the roadside in general where I saw way more litter than I expected. Either a garage truck blew a constant stream of trash onto the shoulders or I've become blind to the litter. Sadly, I believe the latter is true. My awareness awakened, the sight evoked the image of a single tear falling down the cheeks of Iron Eyes Cody. I felt sad for my city in that moment. Incidentally, old Iron Eyes was reportedly actually of Italian decent. But I digress.

I think of the terms disposable society or throw-away society that refer to our rampant consumerism, especially in the U.S. We think that we have to have shiny and new - and more. Or that in the name of convenience, disposable items are a must. Come on - disposable toilet brushes? The result is ever-mounting garbage. The summer animated film WALL-E was about our disposable society.

I have to admit that I unwittingly fall prey to the belief that if something is scratched, dented, used, or imperfect in some way, I should just toss it away and buy another. I work at that, by the way, thinking through my options of repairing or reusing or doing without. I mean, do I really need completely matching silverware, all in multiples of twelve? Isn't it okay to have one spoon made slightly imperfect by the garbage disposal? I'm by no means perfect. In fact I'm far from it. Anyway, in spite of my habit of tossing stuff, I've never felt like I can just throw whatever it is, from a straw wrapper to a used sofa, out into public - or private - spaces. It just seems like such gross display of disrespect for myself, my community and the planet.

Here's what I wonder: How does all that trash get to the sides of the road? Is it blown there from trash trucks? Is it mostly from people tossing cups, fast food wrappers and diapers out of their passing cars? What makes people think it is okay to toss trash on the roads anyway? Who is responsible for cleaning up the litter?

On a somewhat related note, there is an article in the current issue of Scientific American Mind that discusses the possible correlation between rising rates of depression and our society's increasing dependence on conveniences that reduce the challenges of surviving. Perhaps our disposable society has farther reaching effects than just on the environment.

Where Do You Fit Politically? 6 Quizzes

When I was a child, I thought I was a Republican because my parents were. As I've grown and matured, my own views have emerged and changed how I see myself. Of course, I'm never quite sure what political label should be slapped on me (some might say I just need to be slapped). You know I love a good type quiz. The various political quizzes out there entertain me and, in some ways, help me frame my own political foundation. Here are a handful for your own entertainment and edification.

1. The Political Typology quiz from the Pew Research Center helps answer "where do you fit?" and gives interesting statistical information on several groups.
2. In a post back in November 2006, I showed my results for The Political Compass™. This quiz does not originate in the U.S. and offers a more global perspective, showing how you match up with historic figures.
   
3. Also, I showed my political profile according to the How Liberal or Conservative Are You Quiz from BlogThings.com. The results break down your score into five categories.
   
4. The SelectSmart.com® Presidential Candidate Selector asks as series of questions and then shows how you match with presidential candidates (from the primary season as well as a few theoretical candidates).
5. Advocates for Self Government (representing Libertarians) at advocates.com has, as they say, the World's Smallest Political Quiz. The results are similar to the Political Compass in that it shows the results on a matrix that takes into account social and economic issues on separate spectra. It also gives a good amount of data on the five divisions they offer complete with resources for learning more and getting involved.
6. The Political Philosophy Quiz is developed by someone who took at look at the others and thought it could be done better. It measures, I think, 4 dimensions.

Here's what I wonder: Are any of these completely accurate? In any of these quizzes, is the language biased enough to cause confusion in answering? Do people assume their own "political label" based on their family's and friends' opinions without considering their own? What label do you give yourself?

Turning Around a Restaurant Experience

Last night my husband, kids and I went out for dinner. Our first restaurant choice was packed, so we moved on and gave a new place a shot. It's a chain and a fairly new location, so we had low expectations for the food and high expectations for service.

I won't bore you with the exact accounting of the evening. The basics are this:

• Two servers didn't show up, one was fired and then others were sent home early, just before our arrival, because the restaurant was slow.
• Two hostesses attempted to take drink and food orders.
• Our server took our appetizer order and forgot.
• The server was gruff and abrupt.
• The hostesses were nervously inept.

Both my husband and I felt our frustration rising. We were out for an experience - a good experience - not just another excuse to spend hard-earned cash. We showed up with chips on our shoulders. And as fate would have it, we found a situation that fed our negativity.

But then something happened. Around the same time, we realized that we could keep this a bad experience or we could turn it around.

We stopped looking at the servers and the hostesses as objects. We saw them as people who were trying to make a living and doing their best under less-than-ideal circumstances.

Almost miraculously, the situation quickly changed. The server's entire approach softened and the professional that she is began to shine. We connected with her, learning that she's a teacher in a rough and tumble public high school. We talked about iPhones. We laughed about how hard the evening had been for her.

The hostesses also became more confident and relaxed. For the record, they smiled the entire time. They were trying to keep it positive. When we agreed to meet them halfway the evening became a success.

Our $14 appetizer that came late was even given to us free.

And the food was delicious.

So how do you turn around a bad experience? Stop looking "out there" for fault and look inside for compassion. Remember to see other people as people, not objects.

As I've written this, two books come to mind: An Open Heart: Practicing Compassion in Everyday Life by the Dalai Lama and Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box by The Arbinger Institute.

Here's what I wonder: How many situations in everyday life can be improved simply by shifting your own consciousness? Do you have any stories about turning around a bad situation?