Girl Scouts USA and My Surprise Gift

Last night I went to the opening ceremony of the 51st Annual Girl Scout National Council Session. Since the convention is in Indianapolis this year, my daughter and several girls from her troop Brownie troop sang and danced for last night's event.

The experience was weird and wonderful in all kinds of ways.

1. 8,000 women and girls + 150 men and boys. Draw your own conclusions.
2. One roughly 11 year old girl yelled out to me, "Hey! Hey you! You. You. You. you.......lady in black..." (I wear black nearly every day. Don't be alarmed.) "...How are you?" I looked around, realized she was talking to me and responded, "I'm well. Thanks for asking. By the way, my name's Nila." She said, "Well, hi there, Lila. My name's EM-UH-LEEEEEE!" Me: "Nice to meet you, Emily." Her friend yelled to me, "oh, oh, oh, my name's Isabel. What's your name?" Me: "Hi, Isabel. Nila. With a N." Emily and Isabel together: "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. NILA!!!! Nila! Nila! Have fun Nila." Wow. Relating this story to my husband, I said it was like enthusiasm slipping toward utter weirdness. Still, I appreciate their excitement. These girls were HYPED UP and having fun! There wasn't a television, computer, cell phone or gaming system in sight.
   
3. Another much less hyper 11ish girl walked up to me and asked, "Wanna swap?" Remember, these girls are from all over the country, some international. Apparently they buy or make some sort of patch they can swap with other girls as a way to "collect" and visualize all the different people they've met. Kind of a cool thing to do, I think. Anyway, I replied, "oh I'm sorry, I don't have a thing." (Except my Barack Obama button which I was NOT giving up...) Girl said, "oh, that's okay, I'll give you something anyway. Where are you from?" And she handed me a bandage shaped magnet bearing the advertising of a physician's practice in Wisconsin. I said, "Indianapolis. Oh...this is...nice. Thank you." She told me, "yeah, earlier I scratched myself and tried to use one of those bandages but it just wouldn't stick." Okay, a little ironic humor from the the 11 year old. I can handle it. One of her troop sisters handed me a little foam elephant on a piece of paper with her name and troop number on the back. The "patch" came complete with a safety pin. So, I did the fun thing and pinned it to my shirt, right next to Senator Obama. A nice gift. But not THE gift in my post title.
   
4. The Broad Ripple high school band played "25 or 6 to 4" by Chicago while the American, the World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts and the Girl Scouts USA flags were raised. Seriously? So, is a song about writing a song from 1970 a better choice than, say, the national anthem? Hmmmmm. Don't worry, we recited the pledge of allegiance and sang both the national anthem and God Bless America.
   
5. There was a pairs exercise. In execution, I think it was a bit rough. But the concept was awesome. In advance a card with an inspirational quote and three questions had been placed on each seat. All, 8,150 (or so) of us were encouraged to find a person we don't know and then use the questions to prompt a story from our partner. I sort of hung back since I was really only there as an observer, but at the last minute one lost little soul darted around desperately looking for someone to be her partner. I'm so glad I asked her to sit with me. My new friend India was probably about in that same 11 year old age range. It turns out she also lives in Indianapolis and is home-schooled. I gathered from some things she said that she's developmentally disabled in some way and is more than likely adopted into a large, blended family. While she didn't follow the proscribed directions, she was an absolute delight. One of the three questions was something like, "who are the people who helped you become a leader." She said, "oh, I can't be a leader. I'm too young." I encouraged her to think about other ways she might be a leader. She looked right into my eyes, absorbed every word and then told how she is a leader in her family by helping take care of things. With some time left over, I asked her to read her quote to me. Then she wanted to hear mine. It said "A woman in harmony with her spirit is like a river flowing. She goes where she will without pretense and arrives at her destination prepared to be herself and only herself. - Maya Angelou." India paused for a moment and quietly and very seriously said, "oh...I really like that. It says I can just be me." I gave her the Authenticity card. At the end of the exercise, the emcee gave us instructions on how to text the essence (from five choices) of the story we heard from our partner. India asked me, "what was mine?" I told her that "I heard courage in your story." She looked at me, "yours is 'empowering.'"

That convention last night gave me a surprise gift. I went just to "be there" for my own daughter. And, I did that. Also, I was given the opportunity help a girl feel empowered. And she wasn't even mine. I love India's little heart.

Death by Meeting

Long business meetings, particularly those where you sit around the table and talk to a telephone speaker, drive me completely insane. Now, I'm not placing blame on any individual involved. And, honestly, we have to share information so it seems like a good idea to have a meeting. But in practice, I find myself completely annoyed in most meetings. What is it that makes it so hard for me? Just last week I sat through a lecture that was nearly 2.5 hours and I didn't feel as much pain as my 2 hour meeting today. The lecture was something I paid for and went to because I wanted to hear the theories of the speaker. This meeting today was a lot of "here's what happened" and "here's what we need to do" kind of detail. Is that it? Details? Or are we just plain old not good at using the time the way we should (myself included?)?

So, as I was writing this post, I Googled "death by meeting" and discovered that Patrick Lencioni wrote a book by that name about this very subject. This website has a nice, quick PDF graphic based on that book that outlines the types of meetings with suggested lengths of time and actions. Maybe I need to read this book. I also ran across this advice at The Daily Mind, a delightful blog of "Eastern wisdom to make the daily grind more meaningful." The Daily Minder suggest a state of mindfulness in all of his suggestions.

I'm feeling a little more hopeful now. First of all, I know it isn't just me. Apparently many businesses suffer the same ailment. Secondly, I have a few easy mindful strategies for meetings - either say nothing or get engaged being the two that I can remember the easiest.

What I wonder: How do you not only make it through, but make the most of meetings? Are there alternatives to marathon info dump meetings?

Is It All That Bad to NOT Have Big Life Goals?

Why must I have big goals? People will ask, "where do you want to be in five years?" Or I might hear, "what will your career look like in ten years?" Why does it really matter? I know, I know. Popular wisdom says that the only way to achieve anything is by having a destination. I'm just not so sure I buy the absolute nature of that belief.

Does a person have to have some clear picture of exactly what she will be doing and where and with whom and so on? Isn't it at all possible that people can be guided by their values? For some people, isn't the journey more important than the destination?

I do believe some people truly are goal driven. They know what they want in time-bound and specific terms. Therefore, setting and driving toward goals is a natural way for them to live. Still, I think there are an awful lot of people who are driven by living by their values and being open to possibilities they can't imagine. And, being one of these people, I feel we shouldn't be labeled stupid or lazy or not ambitious or unworthy in any way. We're just different.

By the way, I'm not saying that a person who is goal-driven can't have values and value-driven people can't have goals. Not at all! While I do have a goal for what I'll accomplish this coming week and I've set a spending plan for the holidays, I don't know in specific, concrete terms what I want to be doing in my career when I'm 46. I do know that I want to be working in congruence with my values - honoring creativity, helping people to be their best, learning new things, having meaningful relationships, exploring ideas, creating harmony. I'm open to the infinite possibilities that may manifest for me. And I'm just fine with that.

How about you? Are you more goal-oriented or values-oriented? Do you think it's possible to be successful, yet not set life goals?

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator - I'm Qualified!

Last week I took the training and passed the exam to become an officially qualified MBTI® practitioner. That means I'm qualified to administer and interpret the results of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. If you've read any of my other posts or know anything about me, you probably know of my interest in tools that help a person's introspection and growth. I've long been interested in the Myers-Briggs application of Jungian psychological type theories. Reading beyond the 16 types or the 4 pairs of dichotomies always left me scratching my head about some of the deeper aspects of the theory. This training brought me full-speed ahead in my understanding and solidified my opinion of the usefulness of the MBTI® as a tool. There's far more than I can say in one blog post. So, don't take what I say below as the only and final word on the MBTI.

As an instrument, the MBTI is one of the most thoroughly researched for reliability and validity. And, I mean the real deal, not some Myers-Briggs-like quiz you take online to get some instant result that tells you in absolute terms who you are, as if you don't have a clue. Now I know that for maximum usefulness, it is critical to work with someone who knows the theory and its application. Just having the four letter code and some knowledge of the meaning of each of those letters is barely scratching the surface.

At its best and in ethical use, the MBTI is what it says it is, an indicator. It points you to the general area of preferences you have for interacting with the world, taking in information and making decisions. The individual still must decide what psychological type best fits him. The results don't absolutely predict what anyone will do. Afterall, behavior is a function of free will. A person may behave how she wishes to behave at any given time. Some ways just may feel more natural than others. That's what the MBTI will help you understand, along with how to apply those natural tendencies.

The MBTI isn't a tool for screening applicants or for deciding who to promote or to discover mental health issues or for pigeon-holing anyone in any way. It is a useful tool for self development, team building, leadership development, learning, and family dynamics – when all involved are willing participants. Knowing why you do things the way you do and why others do things a different way can help you improve your effectiveness at work and at home.

And, even if you don't know the type of those around you, the information about the various ways people take in information and come to conclusions can help you in many aspects of work and life.

I love to be of use to other people. If I can help you understand more about the MBTI, please reach out to me. Or visit the Center for Applications of Psychological Type, CPP or the Myers and Briggs Foundation for more information.

Eat, Pray, Love - My Own Experience with the Book

Recently, I was traveling for business with one small book to read - Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. Now, I'd read that book before and had been stunned by it. But, apparently enough time had passed that I forgot how emotionally consuming it can be. I have some family history touched by some of the events in that book. Maybe that creates the depths of darkness the book evokes. Maybe not. Either way, it certainly was not good reading for a short jaunt to Las Vegas and back.

So, in the Minneapolis airport, I hit the bookstore to see what would fairly substitute in my need to read. That's when I came across Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. My friend Julia had recommended it months ago. Honestly, I don't know why I'd waited so long. I've come to learn that I relish the memoir format and this one would be no exception.

I won't belabor the events and flow of the book. You can click on the link above, go to a bookstore website or read the book to find out for yourself. I'll simply tell you how it affected me.

I was reminded of my own connection to God and that my perhaps unconventional beliefs and rituals are by no means unique. In other words, I was comforted. And, I found myself longing to have a deeper relationship with my self, that part of me that doesn't live for the shoulds in life, but instead allows a full human experience to unfold. Sure, I am not at liberty to travel the world for a year. But I can certainly find ways to make every day a gift to myself.

What I wonder: What would it be like to be away from home, a stranger in a strange land, for a year of my life? How does one have a similar experience closer to home? If you had a year to spend however you wanted, what would you do?

Connectedness - Strengthsfinder 2.0

Once more I'm taking a look at one of my top five Strengthsfinder themes, Connectedness. This is the final in my set of top 5 themes.

My Strengthsfinder 2.0 report said, "People who are especially talented in the Connectedness theme have faith in the links between all things. They believe there are few coincidences and that almost every event has a reason."

Guilty. And, reading the description, I have to say it's a little tough for me to end on this one. It sounds a little woo-woo, you know, a little "out there." But, Connectedness really is more than that. For one thing, I think this strength theme allows me to see all sides of a situation and where people can can find common ground. Connectedness shows up in my work by allowing me to see the common themes in the data I have gathered. Also, within this theme, I find myself connecting people with other people or resources that can help them. And, honestly, there is a little woo-woo in there. I do believe that all of us are connected to each other as well as every other living thing on this planet – and the planet itself – by way of something I'll certainly never fully understand.

Strengthsfinder 2.0 said my Top Five Themes are Intellection, Empathy, Input, Learner and Connectedness.

Here's what I wonder: Overall, how do people with primarily "thinking" themes and one or two "relating" themes find their way in the business world? These themes are not action oriented, at least through the lens of business-as-we-know-it. Is there a bias towards "impacting" and "striving" themes, that is those that are about influencing people and working harder?

Related posts
Learner - Strengthsfinder 2.0
Input - Strengthsfinder 2.0
Empathy - Strengthsfinder 2.0
Intellection - Strengthsfinder 2.0
Strengthsfinder 2.0

Celebrating - A Good Hair Cut

I took my son to the Great Clips near 86th and Michigan in Indianapolis for a long overdue haircut. A very kind and talented Stephanie did a fine job of hearing our wishes and doing her best to make them come true.

My son smiled big when Stephanie was done. He came home and washed out the extra hair bits, put in a little gel and is waiting for the natural drying process to reveal his true new do.

You know it really is the simple things in life that bring us such joy. For him it was a new cut. For me it was seeing the smile on his face when he caught his reflection.

Today I was reminded that, even when the news seems to be bleak, I don't have to look too hard for happiness.

Celebrating - Hubbard & Cravens' Pumpkin Steamer

I love this time of year. Fall is simply wondrous. The morning air is crisp. The skies are incredibly blue. The trees turn yellow, gold, orange, and red. And pumpkin "stuff" appears.

Let's face it, I'm a sucker for anything with pumpkin, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, ginger or allspice - or especially all of the above. So, when I had my first sip of a pumpkin steamer from Hubbard & Cravens in Broad Ripple, I nearly levitated in joy. My mood, already buoyed by the morning sky and the barista's fabulous service, slid even farther up the scale toward pure bliss.

I guess what I'm saying is this: if you have a similar love as I, get thyself to Hubbard & Cravens and order up at least a tall pumpkin steamer. I had mine with 1% milk - and whipped cream on the top.

Here's what I'm wondering: What other ways can I enjoy that similar pumpkin pie flavor without eating pumpkin pie? Does the change of the season after the long hot summer make most people feel this way? What's the psychology behind that sensation?

Edit: Just wanted to add that The Bean Cup in Greenwood got me started on pumpkin steamers. Both places use actual pumpkin, not just flavoring. Both are pure love.

Learner - Strengthsfinder 2.0

Here we go again, the 4th installment in my personal look at my top 5 themes. This time I'm looking at the theme Learner.

My Strengthsfinder 2.0 report said, "People who are especially talented in the Learner theme have a great desire to learn and want to continuously improve. In particular, the process of learning, rather than the outcome, excites them."

People who know me well will confirm this one for you, particularly the part about process versus learning. That's not to say I'm someone who relishes processes themselves, but that I love being in the throes of learning itself.

This learner theme is one of my trifecta of themes that seem to be all parts of one - Input, Intellection and Learner. The seem to all be about information - gathering it, thinking about it, learning more.

I see Learner at work when I am excited about a project when it is new, but then find myself restlessly yearning to move on when the project reaches a more mature stage.

Strengthsfinder 2.0 said my Top Five Themes are Intellection, Empathy, Input, Learner and Connectedness.

No wonderings on this topic today. I'd love to discuss your thoughts on the themes or Strengthsfinder in general.

Related posts
Connectedness - Strengthsfinder 2.0
Input - Strengthsfinder 2.0
Empathy - Strengthsfinder 2.0
Intellection - Strengthsfinder 2.0
Strengthsfinder 2.0

Celebrating What's Right - The Orchard School

I've grown tired of hearing myself complain about things that bug me. It's about time I balance that and earn some karma points. I want to celebrate what's right with the world - at least my little corner of it.

Let me start with The Orchard School. I first "met" Orchard back in 2001. Curious what it was about, I made an appointment for a tour. My husband and I walked into a buzzing-with-joyful-life school. Each step we took with our tour guide was one more step toward a love affair that has lasted to this day. We saw smiling faces. We heard laughter. We sensed confidence. We saw remarkable writing and art hanging on the walls. We saw happy children passing playfully and peacefully in the halls. We felt a genuine joy and love for learning that made us both want to be kids again.

In my own words, Orchard is a progressive school dedicated to diversity (of learning styles, socioeconomically, etc), dignity, education of the whole child and creation of good citizens.

If you don't believe me, then go see for yourself. Orchard is holding an open house on October 19th from 1:00 to 3:00. Call them at 317.251.9253 for more information. Or get in touch with me. I'd love to talk more about The Orchard School.

Input - Strengthsfinder 2.0

Well, folks, I'm continuing my strengths reporting. Here's installment 3 of 5.

My Strengthsfinder 2.0 report said, "People who are especially talented in the Input theme have a craving to know more. Often they like to collect and archive all kinds of information."

To me this is all about gathering information. Actually, it seems that Intellection, Input and Learner are so linked as to be three parts of one. But, I suppose I would believe that since all three are part of my top five - and one of the others is Connectedness.

Anyway, how does Input show up in my life? Through a somewhat natural process, much of my work has come to be about gathering information. I'm either hunting databases, publications, the Web, books, and so on for data about a topic or I'm facilitating sessions and conversations with clients to collect facts and impressions. I'm so convinced I can find more, most of the time, that I sort of don't know when to shut it off. I have to give myself a deadline or a set amount of hunting time or I'll just keep going and going. Like the now famous pink battery bunny. The same is true for topics of personal interest. I have a lot of books and files. In fact, I finally created a library in our home last fall to house the information I've collected.

Besides the ability to just keep going, another issue I face is the rabbit trails. While hunting for one bit of information, I'll find some other interesting tidbit and then start following it all over the place. Given time, I'll end up far, far away from where I started.

The Strengthsfinder 2.0 report challenges me to name my areas of specialization, actively seek more information in those areas and then tell people I'm a bit of an expert in those areas. So where am I an expert?

Gulp. This is actually scary for me. It's hard for me to say I'm an expert in anything.

When it comes to my work life, I have a decent amount of knowledge in graphic design, qualitative market research, brand, marketing and general business. I've been asked to also become our subject matter expert in blogging. Hence, my increased activity in this blog over the last few months. I think of it as a little lab along with a way to live more fearlessly as noted in another post.

As for topics outside of work, I'd say I know something about general psychology, Myers-Briggs personality type, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), inattentive attention deficit disorder (ADD), nutrition (wish I'd apply what I know!), and intuition. I've also collected a lot about green living, creativity, NLP, yoga, religions and spirituality over the years.

Not exactly the life of the party, huh?

Strengthsfinder 2.0 said my Top Five Themes are Intellection, Empathy, Input, Learner and Connectedness.

Here's what I'm wondering: How do other people who have Input as a top theme take advantage of it?

Related posts
Connectedness - Strengthsfinder 2.0
Learner - Strengthsfinder 2.0
Empathy - Strengthsfinder 2.0
Intellection - Strengthsfinder 2.0
Strengthsfinder 2.0

Why Not a Shout Out in the Debate?

During last night's Vice Presidential debate, Governor Sarah Palin gave a "shout out" to third graders at the elementary school where her brother teaches. I immediately posted to Twitter with the comment, "um...shout out in the debate?" One of my followers replied, "why not a 'shout out' she represents the average American." (punctuation left as originally used)

Now, I'm not sure if my friend was asking seriously or not. Honestly, I found myself wimping out on the reply. I typed, "no reason, just funny to hear." I realized I soon as I tapped tweet that I'd zeroed in on a detail instead of hearing the overall message – a stupid move on my part.

Sarah and I were even.

As I waited for the sandman to visit, I ruminated on the exchange. The truth is, I do have a reason for calling out the shout out. I feel a need to confess the drive behind my ill-chosen tweet.

My focus is simply on the dignity of the office of Vice President of the United States.

Look, I like being fun and silly, too. I appreciate a good joke. And when my kids learn the word sophomoric, they'll surely relate it to Mom. I am not a fan of President Bush's and haven't been for at least six years. And still I have enjoyed his periodic wit in candid communications. It is okay - even desirable - for politicians to have a funny bone. They're human, after all. I can even allow for humor in a debate. However, as I tell my children, there is a time and a place for everything. Radio show colloquialisms belong on radio shows and in sports bar conversations, not in the debate forum.

I believe the purpose of the debates is to inform the voting public and allow candidates to argue for and against positions and to comment on controversial issues. Therefore, I expect a certain higher level of respectability.

Am I asking too much for our candidates for elected office to display decorum and intelligence? It is wrong to think that conversation doesn't have to be dumbed down to reach Americans?

You see, I believe it is possible to have intelligent, dignified discourse and connect with the average American.

I promise, by the way, that I won't judge Governor Palin on this one nitpicking minute out of 90 or the bundle of other data I have and will consume in this election season. Cross my heart. Here's hoping you won't judge me on my blunder.

I Have Ringxiety!

Lately, I've been feeling my iPhone vibrate in my pocket or hearing it ring when it is neither vibrating nor ringing. Seriously. I thought I was going nuts, so I did a little Google search.

Turns out I am sort of going nuts. I'm way behind the times on this one (no shock). I saw a number of articles that call it "phantom ring" or "ringxiety." It seems I've found a new and exciting way to express anxiety. Cool.

I feel a bit comforted that I'm not alone. Apparently 67% of us have become so dependent on our communications devices that we have an intense expectation that they'll buzz, ring, sing, whatever at any given moment. That expectation causes our brains to fire out signals to satisfy the need. Thus the phantom ring or vibration. Fun. Fun. Fun.

Want to know more? Check out The New York Times.

Here's what I wonder: How many of you are experiencing ringxiety? How the heck do we all get over it?